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Sixteen Ways to Skin a Cat


With a pointed and sharp knife, serrated edges are useless here, slit the cat backwards from nave to chops, then forward from nave to neck, stem to stern so to speak, peeling outward as you go. The way they used to do it in the old days. You have to get the skin away from the flesh. This is difficult, but masterable. Also be sure to slash from the inside of the paws along the legs for a superb pelt.


Me, I find it more sporting to use scissors. It is easier for me lunge forward with scissors. I have to make certain on the first slash. With the incisor blade prominent, I bring it down hard on the receiver blade. I must do it right the first time. There is never a second chance. Do it properly, and with style. What else is there?


How do you skin a cat? With love. Love it, it will love you.


In Salem we have a saying and live by it: first we have to catch the cat…


In France they gendarmes skin the peau from the chat; in Paraguay they peel the something-or-other from the gato. Which isn’t quiet fair because in Paraguay the cats are so hideously small the poor gato can’t put up a decent defense.


You people can’t just go out and skin a cat. What about the S.P.C.A.? Where have you been all this time, S.P.C.A.? It’s all your fault. You can’t blame anyone else.


With paper or a blackboard, with a pencil or some chalk. With logarithms. With intelligence. With a will. With thrift. Never with complacency. With purity of heart and cleanliness of soul. With a vengeance.